Michel Gondry Blows His Own Hornet

Michel Gondry tells MTV his plans for The Green Hornet. It’s gonna star the new slimline Seth Rogen as Britt Reid and god of comedy Stephen Chow as Kato. Gondry makes it sounds like The Spirit without all the coherent parts.

“I changed the speed of the camera at different spots in the image at different times. So it seems like [Green Hornet and Kato] are in the same world but at different times, and then they’re back together. [… The camera] speeds up and slows down but [at] different times for different characters’ images. So one will go fast and the other will go slow — and then they’ll meet. It’s [as if] they’re in different dimensions, but when they touch each other, they come into the same dimension.”

Clear as boue! Not exactly a quote that screams “pull,” but what are you gonna do? Gondry adds that the villain’s distinguishing feature is “a gun with two cannons” and that the TV Hornet, Van Williams, will make an appearance. He’ll be happy for the work–according to IMDB, it’s the first time Williams has appeared onscreen since 1993’s Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story.

Trailerama: Extract (Mike Judge, 2009)

It’s always worth reminding yourself that Hollywood is a bloodier arena than the Roman senate on the Ides of March. Mike Judge learned this when he made Idiocracy. No film has come close to its skin-crawling vision of the future. Luke Wilson falls asleep for 500 years and wakes up in a world drowning in stupidity. Garbage assumes natural formations, energy drinks have replaced water, Starbucks is a brothel chain, and a pro-wrestler/porn star has become president. It’s American as apple pie and bleak as Haneke‘s Time of the Wolf.

20th Century Fox rewarded this unique vision by not screening the film for critics and releasing it into less theatres than Midnight Meat Train. Opinion was divided as to whether there was too much diss in the dystopia or whether Judge went too far in offending corporations with business ties to News International. Idiocracy didn’t fare much better than the Beavis & Butthead creator’s live action feature debut Office Space. So we can expect him to tread lightly for his latest film Extract, right?

Observe and Report Metaphor/Simile Watch

Richard Corliss, Time: “Frighten the horses … a quick portrait of trailer-park American pursuing its urges by any means necessary … like the drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket … as if it’s Baghdad and al-Qaeda is around the corner … the start of World War III … she should be placed not on a pedestal but in the trash bin … one undescended testicle … underdog … top dog … The stars were aligned … like Michael Savage … the Hollywood laugh factory.”

Manohla Dargis, New York Times: “The pettiest of dictators … Lynndie England … like a Wild West sheriff … more Deputy Dawg than Dirty Harry … barrel down that particular road … thumbs his nose … disarming his own bombs … rising above the muck … hearts of gold … a comic who throws a custard pie in another person’s kisser … violent characters who hold up a mirror to that public.”

Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly: “The tin badge of weaponless courage … as clammy as Blart’s mom is fuzzy … a man simmering to a boil … scalding spillover moment … every alley a mainstream comedy is supposed to avoid … the amazing gimlet eye … a crazy mosaic of Americana with tiles scattered and missing … as if liberated from the Hollywood salt mines … a tribute from James Lipton.”

J. Hoberman, Village Voice: “The castrated mall cop … bellicose bratwurst … a needed cushion … a parody Travis Bickle … Joe the Plumber of Rush the Limbaugh.”

Scott Weinberg, Cinematical: “Since Madeleine Kahn … a product of assembly-line filmmaking … virtually all of Jody Hill’s darts hit their intended target … one-note pot-smokin’ wise-ass.”

David Edelstein, New York: “A mighty volcano of psychosexual mayhem … the action-comedy genre’s underbelly … a different plane of ickiness … a sponge for urban bad vibes … the blind fool.”

Codpiece for Mr. Franco!

Here’s what everyone learned from Pineapple Express:

• Seth Rogen learned that he liked being an action star.
• James Franco learned that it’s better to be in a movie everybody loves than training as a boxer for nine months for a movie no one sees.
• David Gordon Green learned that it’s fun making money. Real fun.
• Danny McBride learned that he’s the best thing about certain films.

Now the last three are trying to make the magic happen again. (Rogen has other priorities.) Variety reports that Franco, Green and McBride will be three for the comedy Your Highness. Taking a tip from Year One‘s tilt at the history books, the comedy is about a pair of spoiled princes who must rescue their father and a fiance from the clutches of an evil wizard. The bratty royals’ quest through the land of yore lead to pageantry and the inevitable medieval hijinks. The script was penned by McBride and Ben Best, who worked together on Foot Fist Way.

We know that Rogen and Franco have enough chemistry together to set up their own meth lab. But can Saul and Red cook up a potion of strong stuff in the Dark Ages’ black cauldron? One thing’s for certain: this fairy-tale kingdom should be nice and green. The production is due to begin in Belfast, Northern Ireland, in July. In the meantime, this Highness needs a princess bride, a wizard, and plenty of stockings. Maybe even a codpiece. Who would you like to see buckle Franco’s swash?

To the Edge of Pointlessness: Ghostbusters 3

Do fans actually sit down and say, “God, wouldn’t it be great if there was another Ghostbusters movie?” History has it that the original 1985 film made $238.6 million on its original release. The 1989 sequel made $112.4 million, suggesting fan enthusiasm had waned over the five years. No doubting the affection in which the first film is held: Rotten Tomatoes has it at 93% positive. Ghostbusters 2? A rating of 53% percent makes it an even blech.

This doesn’t reckon with the Ghostbusters zealot, who presumably has the tattoo, the home-made Proton pack, and the complete animated series on DVD. But now they’re bored. They crave more Venkman and Gozer. And, as MTV reminds us, the combination of an unproven wave of 1980s remakes (Beverly Hills Cop we can kinda understand, but Arthur? Seriously?) and the popularity of the supernatural demonstrated by Twilight, makes Ghostbusters ripe for exhumation. We already know No. 3 is in the works. Now GB vet Harold Ramis provides MTV with the details. How pretty is it?

“We’re all going to be in it in different kinds of roles,” Ramis said. “We’re going to be the sage mentors. There are going to be young Ghostbusters.”