Star Trek Boldly Going Into Star Trek 2 Territory

It was always a comforting feeling when the familiar credit appeared: “James Bond will return in …” Trekkie trousers have barely dried from the inclusion of an alien babe in a swimsuit in a pack of Trek trading cards when news comes that the Star Trek sequel is moving ahead for a summer 2011 release.

Could Star Trek Boldly Go Back to TV?

If you know Squally, then you’ll know that your blogger has yet to sit through an entire episode of Star Trek. There always seemed to be a second-act stretch when suddenly a nap seemed like a more beneficial option. With J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek: The Gossip Girl Generation ready to pop off the starting blocks, James Hibberd speculates that a blockbuster flick could lead to a similar resurrection for the TV show. The galaxies are definitely aligned–a new, hornier Trekwould be a perfect program for CBS or its CW affiliate, and Abrams has a nice sideline in cooking up spicy TV series. Hibberd had us up until this point:

“Paramount and CBS get along like the Hatfields and McCoys (or Spock and McCoy, if you prefer). Though CBS owns the TV rights, Paramount is presumably involved in any Trek-related movement while their movie is at bat.”

Oh yeah, those guys hate each other like poison. Hibberd also notes Dark Knight helmer Christopher Nolan‘s nixing of The Graysons spin-off and the fact that TV can be slow to turn a profit as reasons why the USS Enterprise may stick to soaring across IMAX screens. Our bet: Star Trekwill be reborn on the boob tube, but only after a cinematic trilogy has been completed. We’ll see … sometime in Stardate 2020.

The Slate: Thor’s Bodyguard Makes Passion Plays (But Not Mad Max IV)

• Sure, it’s probably the product of a journo and a meal of Welsh Rarebit, but this is one vision too indigestable to pass up–Rihanna may star opposite Channing Tatum in a remake of the Huston/Costner The Bodyguard. [Hasn’t she suffered enough? – Reader’s Voice] An “insider” said the film would be “young and sexy,” as opposed to the 1991 original, which is considered to be “wooden and crack addicty.” Also mooted: Rihanna for Charlie’s Angels 3 and a flick with Justin Tinkerbell. (NY Daily News)
• Natalie Portman is reportedly being courted by Thordirector Kenneth Branagh, which presumably means that he’s been leaving flagons of mead, fresh boar sacrifices and a mint VHS copy of Dead Againon her doorstep. Portman will presumably play someone female (and short) in Marvel’s Norse saga. Nikki Finke also spits out a load of names who could play the Thunderer, with the most notable being Josh Hartnett. (Deadline Hollywood Daily)
• Mickey Rourke‘s agent sure has been busy lately, and that’s why Mickey loves him/her. Hot on the heels of the Iron Man 2 announcement, Rourke is signing on to the indie drama Passion Plays. Who knows? The Pope of Greenwich Village might even get to do some real acting. Mitch Glazer (Scrooged) is writing, directing, and insisting the plot be kept under wraps. Phooey. (Hollywood Reporter)
• George Miller has told MTV that he’s not closing the door on making Mad Max: Fury Road, but don’t hold your breath. “It depends on when the opportunity comes to do the live-action film,” he said. “Mad Maxwas a lifetime ago.” He was all set to make the fourth installment in Namibia when the Iraq war broke out, the dollar went pffft, and Fox got cold feet. Miller added that Mel Gibson was now out of the limping: “The stories are pretty physical. It’s not like Unforgiven.” (MTV Movies Blog)
• Paramount have bought the rights to Joshua Davis’ self-explanatory Wired article “The Untold Story of the World’s Biggest Heist.” Written with the participation of a genuine criminal mastermind, the article blows the lid off a Belgian heist that took in $100 million. J.J. Abrams will produce and–it’s hoped–direct. Unless Star Trekturns out to be a big fat Tribble, in which case it could turn into a straight-to-DVD film with John Cena. (Hollywood Reporter)

Star Trek: Boldly Going Into Familiar Territory

With their emphasis on boot-knocking and bra-waving, previous trailers for J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek reboot suggested that the Enterprise crew would be going where The O.C.had boldly gone before. Those fanboys who fell for the original series’ plasterboard sci-fi or for The Next Generation‘s Shakespearean chops were going to have to get used to the fact that Kirk, Spock, and Uhura’s original four-year mission was getting sexed up. This is a Star Trek of the Darren Star variety. (Or more daringly, a Star Trek which acknowledges the series’ slash fiction spin-offs.)

The latest trailer adds a few more elements in the mix. The emphasis is more on action and special effects, although the space combat fights look a bit like Return of the Jedi, where George Lucas in his mad genius reasoned that if three tie-fighters were very cool, than three HUNDRED tie-fighters would be even cooler. He was right, but that was back in 1983. Now the space visuals just look cluttered. There’s meant to be a certain majesty in Mutt Jones–I mean, James Kirk–looking up at the nascent Enterprise, but it’s obscured by that network of scaffolding. Any general would throw up their hands at the chaos of the space battles, which are closer to Welles’ Chimes at Midnight than Kubrick’s Spartacus.