The Slate: Thor’s Bodyguard Makes Passion Plays (But Not Mad Max IV)

• Sure, it’s probably the product of a journo and a meal of Welsh Rarebit, but this is one vision too indigestable to pass up–Rihanna may star opposite Channing Tatum in a remake of the Huston/Costner The Bodyguard. [Hasn’t she suffered enough? – Reader’s Voice] An “insider” said the film would be “young and sexy,” as opposed to the 1991 original, which is considered to be “wooden and crack addicty.” Also mooted: Rihanna for Charlie’s Angels 3 and a flick with Justin Tinkerbell. (NY Daily News)
• Natalie Portman is reportedly being courted by Thordirector Kenneth Branagh, which presumably means that he’s been leaving flagons of mead, fresh boar sacrifices and a mint VHS copy of Dead Againon her doorstep. Portman will presumably play someone female (and short) in Marvel’s Norse saga. Nikki Finke also spits out a load of names who could play the Thunderer, with the most notable being Josh Hartnett. (Deadline Hollywood Daily)
• Mickey Rourke‘s agent sure has been busy lately, and that’s why Mickey loves him/her. Hot on the heels of the Iron Man 2 announcement, Rourke is signing on to the indie drama Passion Plays. Who knows? The Pope of Greenwich Village might even get to do some real acting. Mitch Glazer (Scrooged) is writing, directing, and insisting the plot be kept under wraps. Phooey. (Hollywood Reporter)
• George Miller has told MTV that he’s not closing the door on making Mad Max: Fury Road, but don’t hold your breath. “It depends on when the opportunity comes to do the live-action film,” he said. “Mad Maxwas a lifetime ago.” He was all set to make the fourth installment in Namibia when the Iraq war broke out, the dollar went pffft, and Fox got cold feet. Miller added that Mel Gibson was now out of the limping: “The stories are pretty physical. It’s not like Unforgiven.” (MTV Movies Blog)
• Paramount have bought the rights to Joshua Davis’ self-explanatory Wired article “The Untold Story of the World’s Biggest Heist.” Written with the participation of a genuine criminal mastermind, the article blows the lid off a Belgian heist that took in $100 million. J.J. Abrams will produce and–it’s hoped–direct. Unless Star Trekturns out to be a big fat Tribble, in which case it could turn into a straight-to-DVD film with John Cena. (Hollywood Reporter)