Posts Tagged ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’

The Slate: New Moon Gets New Sheen

April 13, 2009

Loews Astor Plaza

  • Michael Sheen is carrying on the great British thesping tradition of starring in any old toss. The actor has made his bones playing figures like Tony Blair in The Queen, David Frost in Frost/Nixon, and Brian Clough in The Damned United. But he’s fed his family with swill like Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. He’s since joined Twilight sequel New Moon as the leader of an Italian vampire coven. Sheen has a way to go before achieving the hacky stature of Sir Michael Caine, but he’s off to a nice start. (Variety)
  • London gangland dramas are two a penny, but London Boulevard is shaping up in the “great cast, lousy title” category. The film stars waifish Keira Knightley and shepherd’s pie-like Colin Farrell, and they’re being joined by hardman Ray Winstone, grumpy David Thewlis and the delightful Anna Friel. Farrell will play a released convict who becomes tangled up with in a waifish actress’ scrawny thighs. Winstone will be the gang boss who ensures mutual infatuation doesn’t run smooth. Booklist says Ken Bruen’s novel “packs one hell of a powerful punch.” (Variety)
  • Pirates of the Caribbean helmer Gore Verbinski has had enough shivered timbers, cheers, and would like to move on with his life. So does that mean more tragicomedies about depressed weathermen? No. The director’s staying soggy and sailing into Bioshock waters. Verbinski will be in charge of making the video game about a man stranded in an underwater city filled with psychotic fishy things into a movie that doesn’t suck. Arr! We mean, “glub!” (Variety)
  • The wilderness has done wonders for William Hurt. The 1980s most boring actor has blossomed in supporting roles like A History of Violence. Now he’ll hopefully be bringing bizarre line readings and facial hair to the untitled Robin Hood film that we love to rag on. He plays the Earl of Pembroke, a powerful noble who served both Richard the Lionheart and King John. Wikipedia also claims he was “the greatest jouster of his age.” We prefer to call him “the Liam Neeson role.” (Hollywood Reporter)
  • Looking for a little bit of that Wild Hogs male menopausal magic, director Kent Alterman (Semi-Pro) will direct Treehouse Gang for Warner Bros. The film, written by Tim Dowling (Role Models), centers on a group of adults searching for buried treasure and has been described as a grown-up Goonies. We’d make some “Chunk” gag, except that we spent our childhoods locked in a cellar without access to HBO. (Hollywood Reporter)

The Slate: Pirates, New Moon and More!

March 11, 2009

russell-brandRecent scuttlebutt:

  • Puffball Russell Brand downplayed any involvement with the latest Pirates of the Caribbean sequel, saying, “There’s been some talk of doing a Pirates movie, but, I’ve got eight other things to do [including] Get Him To The Greek with Judd Apatow… So I don’t know if there’ll be time to be a pirate, I’ve got enough of that in me private life.” Chortle! (Access Hollywood)
  • Training Day scribe David Ayer, whose directorial debut Harsh Times displayed a penchant for men yelling racial epithets at each other and OTT Christian Bale performances, has a new gig. He will write and direct Last Man, a space opera with a hardened soldier and his rookie charges defending themselves from becoming alien breakfast on a distant planet. Did Fox lose John Carpenter‘s phone number? (Variety)
  • Filmmaker Chris Waitt‘s 2008 documentary A Complete History of My Sexual Failures chronicled his reconciliations with girlfriends past to find out where it all went wrong. Now Austin Powers director Jay Roachis making a feature version. If Waitt is played by either Mike Myers or Jim Carrey, then my personal sexual failures will include auto-castration. (Variety)
  • Fox has snapped up the rights to Mr. Popper’s Penguins, a book beloved of kids who live in places with no TV. Tome tells the tale of a house painter whose dreams of exploration end with him wrangling a penguin circus. This pleases pere Erich von Squally, who thinks more movies should be made about house painters. Pic is written by Sean Anders and John Morris, who penned Sex Drive. This angers Mr. S, who believes they should be shot. (Variety)
  • Dakota Fanning might be too busy to play a Runaway. She’s signed on to Stephenie Meyer sequel New Moon, which is being prepped for a Nov. 20 opening by director Chris Weitz. Fanning is due to play Jane, who sucks blood for the Volturi. Kristen Dunst’s crown as the pre-eminent preemie vampire could be under serious threat. (People)