Posts Tagged ‘Jennifer Aniston’

The Slate: White vs. Hoberman, The Addams Family, The Runaways

March 19, 2010

The high point of Armond White’s Greenberg-iad is also the one statement that approaches actual criticism: “I liked Harris Savides’ image of Stiller barely swimming across a pool—possibly an homage to my joke that Baumbach was the rat at the bottom of Margot at the Wedding’s pool.” This man walks among us. (NY Press)

… and J. Hoberman shrugs the whole tirade off. Is this still fun? (VV)

In related news: “The abiding joy [of writing film criticism] comes of saying what you’ve experienced so truthfully and so well that strangers get your meaning whether they agree or not.” It’s an elusive joy, trust us. (Scanners)


Happy Birthday, Jennifer Aniston!

February 11, 2010

Why Jennifer Aniston Will Not Be in the Next Bond Movie

March 18, 2009

jennifer-anistonIs it worth even entertaining the notion that Jennifer Aniston wants to be a Bond girl? Only if it’s a slow news day. Let’s check the in-box … yep. Let’s take a quick look at Variety. Tumbleweeds, there. Let’s pause for a minute and listen to the music of the spheres. Hmm, definitely Bon Iver. Okay, let’s entertain the notion that Jennifer Aniston wants to be a Bond girl.

The most glaring reason why this will not happen is a matter of dollars and cents. While Bond has been able to entertain big budgets thanks to the success of Casino Royale‘s retcon, it very rarely splurges money out on its cast. With the exception of Halle Berry in Die Another Day, a film which is still used to torture inmates at Guantanamo, no Bond girl of the last decade or so has ever successfully tickled the A-list.

Quantum of Solace (2008): Olga Kurylenko. Career highlight to date: Lots of nudity in Hitman.

Casino Royale (2006): Eva Green. Career highlight to date: Our love for Ms. Green knows no bounds, but her highest profile projects–Kingdom of Heaven and The Golden Compass have both been stiffer than she was at the end of the Bond film.

The Slate: The Fantastic Four meet Crazy Eddie: The Man With the X-Ray Eyes

March 11, 2009

jessica-albaToday’s last pre-americano edition:

  • Fantastic Four wasn’t Squally’s cuppa chai, but he could appreciate that it was a superhero movie aimed at kids who think “moral complexity” was a guest star on The Suite Life of Zach & Cody. Fox disagree. They’re planning a “reboot” that will take the 4 in a direction marked “edgy.” They also want a new cast. The upside: more time for Jessica Alba‘s acting lessons. (
  • He used to be Brundlefly, but Jeff Goldblum has a new sideline: hero’s best friend. He’s playing Jason Bateman’s chum in The Baster, about a man who artificially inseminates BFF Jennifer Aniston. Yes, there is something creepy about the whole thing … and it’s based on a Jeffrey Eugenides short story. But if Goldblum also emerges from Aniston’s uterus? Game ON! (Hollywood Reporter)
  • Before Bernie Madoff, there was Crazy Eddie. Now Danny DeVito is putting on his director’s hat to bring retail scammer Eddie Antar’s life story to the big screen. Antar cooked his chain’s books to the extent that he ended up being extradited from Israel and coughing up $150 million in fines. The script is by Peter Steinfeld (21), so expect at least one ker-azy trip to Vegas. DeVito … his pitches are “In-sa-a-a-a-a-ane!” (Variety)
  • Failing to screw up 28 Weeks Later, director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo is now going to try and remake Roger Corman‘s MASTERPIECE X: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes with a little bit of dignity. Which, trust us, is the last thing that movie needs. MGM are ponying up the cash, and Fresnadillo is currently meeting with writers. Any takers for a Immoral Mr. Teas retcon? [That’s enough geek jive – Ed.] (Variety)
  • We’ve had a soft spot for scribe Ronald Harwood ever since Albert Finney yelled “Stop … that … train!” in The Dresser. The playwright won an Oscar for The Pianist. Now he’s tackling Nicholas II and the Romanovs, the Tsarist family beloved of people who have never lived under tyranny’s yoke. The indie film will be based on Robert Alexander’s novel The Kitchen Boy: A Novel of the Last Tsar. (Variety)