Trailerama: Samurai purinsesu: Gedô-hime/Samurai Princess

We’re not entirely sure what this is–aside from a preview for what might be the greatest movie of all time.

Watching the trailer for Samurai purinsesu: Gedô-hime/Samurai Princess is a bit like entering a time warp. Kung fu aficianadaos will have a fresh headache at the extreme abuse of the widescreen lens. Evil Dead fans will ask themselves, “Why couldn’t Ash have a chainsaw attached to his leg that he could shoot at people?” The copious amounts of latex and catsup are like a Proustian madeleine to anyone who grew up watching the video nasties of the 1980s. Samurai Princess is a movie for people who want to say “gross!” again. (Or “kurosu” if you’re Japanese.)

Twitch re-prints a press release which states that Samurai Princess takes place in a Japanese steampunk land, where samurais and “mechanical dolls” co-exist. They’re not co-existing together happily, though, and the “mechanical dolls” start butchering the norms. A mad scientist manufactures a female ninja “equipped with 11 types of built-in weapons.” At least two of which appear to be combustible breasts.

This makes the trailer a little more logical. Could our Samurai Princess be doing some extracurricular brain surgery in order to get herself a noggin? Is she even aware of her android identity? Once she discovers it, does she resolve to be the “devil princess”? Audiences will probably be more concerned about when the next power tool to the crotch is coming from, with just a brief pause for an overlit naked cuddling scene. Yeah, this looks like one of those Japanese films that doesn’t make much sense. But that’s not why we watch ’em.

Samurai Princess stars Aino Kiski, a 21-year-old who Nipponcinema.com reports got her start in gravure and moved onto porn. Her co-star Mihiro won a Best Actress Award at the AV Actress Grand Prix 2006. Director Kengo Kaji was the co-writer of Tôkyô zankoku keisatsu/Tokyo Gore Police and directed installments of the adult Ultraseven X series. Sôtarô Hayashi (Igyô no koi) wrote the screenplay based on Kengo’s story.

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