The Slate: Pirates, New Moon and More!

russell-brandRecent scuttlebutt:

  • Puffball Russell Brand downplayed any involvement with the latest Pirates of the Caribbean sequel, saying, “There’s been some talk of doing a Pirates movie, but, I’ve got eight other things to do [including] Get Him To The Greek with Judd Apatow… So I don’t know if there’ll be time to be a pirate, I’ve got enough of that in me private life.” Chortle! (Access Hollywood)
  • Training Day scribe David Ayer, whose directorial debut Harsh Times displayed a penchant for men yelling racial epithets at each other and OTT Christian Bale performances, has a new gig. He will write and direct Last Man, a space opera with a hardened soldier and his rookie charges defending themselves from becoming alien breakfast on a distant planet. Did Fox lose John Carpenter‘s phone number? (Variety)
  • Filmmaker Chris Waitt‘s 2008 documentary A Complete History of My Sexual Failures chronicled his reconciliations with girlfriends past to find out where it all went wrong. Now Austin Powers director Jay Roachis making a feature version. If Waitt is played by either Mike Myers or Jim Carrey, then my personal sexual failures will include auto-castration. (Variety)
  • Fox has snapped up the rights to Mr. Popper’s Penguins, a book beloved of kids who live in places with no TV. Tome tells the tale of a house painter whose dreams of exploration end with him wrangling a penguin circus. This pleases pere Erich von Squally, who thinks more movies should be made about house painters. Pic is written by Sean Anders and John Morris, who penned Sex Drive. This angers Mr. S, who believes they should be shot. (Variety)
  • Dakota Fanning might be too busy to play a Runaway. She’s signed on to Stephenie Meyer sequel New Moon, which is being prepped for a Nov. 20 opening by director Chris Weitz. Fanning is due to play Jane, who sucks blood for the Volturi. Kristen Dunst’s crown as the pre-eminent preemie vampire could be under serious threat. (People)

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